My Mind is Full Tuesday {just this once} - February 18th, 2014
I take full responsibility for my moody actions and as much as I'd like to say that they are completely justified, they aren't in the slightest.
I look at stuff I shouldn't, people's pages I probably should never visit, look into the past via the wonderful world of the web, compare myself to bloggers with thousands more followers, women who have made it and are successful doing what they love, insta models and their bodies, Beyonce every second of every day, look at other people's instaLifes and woo, ahh and get jealous over them. I'm guilty, I'm SO guilty of letting outside BS dictate my life and my mood. I'm also guilty of letting that BS slide under my skin.
Why? Well, the problem lies within myself and that's hard to actually come to terms with. I allow it to bother me and I've come to realize that they are all utter unnecessary influences that I bring into my life COMPLETELY on my own.
How is that for embarrassing?
I bring it on myself by taking a look, a gander that I think won't bother me then it upper cuts me and breaks my jaw and/or makes me want to punch the person I'm stalking. I ruin my own day - way to fucking go Rachel, way to go! I lose my motivation and inspiration, the smile I had on five minutes ago was ruined by looking at A Bikini A Day instagram, their bodies, bikinis, butts and their boobs. #nohate #dothedamnthinggirls
I compare myself constantly to people I love (like Beyonce) and also people that I can't stand. I look for entertainment then it kinda stings a little too once I realize what I'm doing.
I'm guilty, guilty, guilty.
So why am I writing about this? Because I've decided to make a vow to stop the nonsense, stop feeding myself to the outside BS and start being confident, secure and loving who I am, how my life is and looking at what I do have rather than kicking and screaming internally of what I do not possess or how retarded other people are.
It's so easy to concentrate on the crazies, the drama that is happening via social media, the lives people portray they have but in all reality are just trying to portray something they wish to be like (not all but many), the past that gets posted, the photos that shouldn't have been up and people talk about because it is all at our fingertips! I know I'm not the only one, I can say that with 100% confidence. But by giving yourself into the outside BS, you lose yourself completely. When you dabble into this, you are automatically focusing on what you do not have, gossiping about someone else who posted whatever or you are living in the past and you are enabling yourself from moving forward...or at least that is what I've learned.
Stop stopping yourself.
I'm going to stop stopping myself from being in the past and looking at the outside BS, I'm here now with a wonderful life no matter how rough it may get. I'm me and living this life for a reason, instead of trying to control how it's going to go - I need to embrace and stop making comparisons.
Happy Tuesday everyone, set aside the bullshit.
Love this.
ReplyDeleteSocial media has done more harm (especially to young girls) in a few short years than it took TV to do in 30.
Thanks for being an example of backbone and integrity to other girls, showing that you don't need to display to the world that you are smoking pot or making out with other girls to be a person that others will follow. Better to have 1k awesome followers than 50k perverts and self destructive girls.
Thank you so much for your kind words! It's sad that that is the truth and I can only hope to inspire women to be strong because of their inner beauty and what they have to offer the world other than their body or how many cool parties they attend.
DeleteIt is so incredibly refreshing to read your blog, and see that I'm not alone with all that goes on in my head on a daily. I too lived in LA for a couple of years and totally went through what you did too. To come to terms with adult life, and start focusing on what really makes me happy is where I find myself at this moment. To see that you go through all this even when you're P.Rod's gf is such an inspiration and motivation to not beat myself up too much and keep trucking along on this journey! There's def too much beauty in this insane world to stress about the growing pains of life. Thanks Rachel, way to be apart of the Love Revolution!
ReplyDeleteWow thank you Stephanie! I am so stoked that my readers can relate because honestly - that's my main goal in life. To inspire, guide and be honest with my supporters to help them through whatever they are going through. You're welcome but thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! xx we got this!
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