I need to stop thinking the whole world is out to get me.
I need to stop being moody for no reason.
I need to stop "doing things I hate" as Gary Vaynerchuck would say.
...and I need to just be Beyonce already.
I can sit and think of a million things, reasons and made up words to describe every excuse of why I haven't pursued my passion with every fiber in my being {I know, I know I fucking preach about it on here...we will get to that later} - my fear, my fear holds me back completely. And even though I know that - why don't I do anything about it? #1 because I'm a retard and #2 because I don't want to fail.
Now how in the world will I ever get shit done that way? Oh yeah, I won't.
Amongst all my excuses, they all end up with me being moody at the end of the day and thinking that people are plotting against my demise when I haven't even started the damn thing. {Random but give me a sec and it will make sense} Beyonce's visual album came out and I shit you not, it completely slapped me in the face. It's like she walked over and whipped me with her weave to wake the hell up. I also saw her front row in concert and I was hoping she'd see me in the crowd and adopt me.....so since that didn't happen, I just listen to her album, watch her videos and act like she texts me on the daily about her album sales and update my boyfriend like we are BFF's. #yonceforever
ANYWAY! Since I saw her in concert, seeing every light blink, flames come out, her voice, her talent, the outfits, the way the stage is laid out, the order of her songs, the people on her team, the fans there for her - it made me realize, she had to have felt this way at one point or another and she surpassed it. She probably Yoncéd all over it and shoved it to the side then kept on keeping on with her bad self. She had to have used her fear as her fuel.
I took a break because I got sidetracked, I didn't want to blog and fail at being a "popular blog" or "popular honest blogger" because when it comes down to it - this is what I want to do for the rest of my life and it's scary to confront the failure and use that as fuel, to not give up, not disappoint your dreams and the people in your life. I want to use my words, my stories, my baking, my creativity and the truth to inspire women my age and hopefully twist it into a living while I help others live. I want to be the Beyonce of whatever I choose to do. So I need to get the fuck over my fear and start living my dreams and goals rather than being so afraid of them that I shake at the sight of the possibility in me.
Sometimes I'm lost, sometimes I'm scared and I almost always talk myself out of whatever idea I have or passion coursing through my blood. I'm not here to lie to you, here to act like I'm perfect or here to tell you what's the latest and greatest cliché...I'm here to be me, to become the Beyonce of whatever world I choose to enter and I'll admit it - I have no idea what world that is quite yet but just watch.
I'm going to Yoncé all over the fucking place.
Email me and let me know what holds you back, let's get pass the fear and use it as our fuel.
She's perfect - you're welcome, happy Monday.
No comments:
Post a Comment