myMindisFull Monday's: {im}Patiently Waiting

This past Friday, I was on the phone with Bank of America talking to a representative that clearly didn't know what his job description was, ripping my hair out while they messed up "solutions" they were providing me and transferring me in every direction, I had to put my phone on mute and scream. I literally screamed then proceeded to laugh at myself and the level of patience I did not possess.

My Mind is Full Monday's - November 25th, 2013
After I hung up the phone, sorted through my daily to-do list, still feeling the vibrations of frustration in my body, I had to sit back and breathe. Let me repeat myself, I had to physically sit back and breathe - what kind of bullshit is that? I am twenty three years old with the patience level of an infant.

This made me start to think about how "patience {really} is a virtue" and how it is one that I need to get a grasp on quick. I have a tendency to freak out if something doesn't work out within the first few minutes of trying it, it's always been that way unfortunately. I remember when I was little trying to do my hair for the first time, my first time attempting a pony tail and it just would.not.work...so since it wouldn't work I started crying {clearly the best solution}. Now why am I telling you about how my lack of patience leads to tears? Because for one: it's kinda funny, two: now that I know I have a lack of patience I'm working on it and three: I have realized it's a positive in my present right now.

Thank you Marie Forleo and her fiance for this epiphany. {Click here for this video for a better explanation} That video inspired and fed me for today's post, just an FYI.

Anyway - back to what I was saying...

Since my patience level is at it's minimum for certain things in life, it pushes me harder than I ever thought that first attempted pony breakdown could. I don't settle, I don't give up, I don't leave my responsibility to someone else, I don't ask other people to handle something that didn't go my way...I have a mini mute/scream with whatever I am trying then try again. My lack of patience at this moment in time actually fuels my determination and will power for goals I have set in my life. I now recognize my "bad" feelings as simple vibrations in my body and if I continue to remind myself they are just vibrations of atoms - I can use those vibrations for "creative fuel" as Josh Pais says.

Now you've all heard of, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again"...right? Well what they left out is, if at first you don't succeed - use the vibrations of your atoms {the frustration, impatience, anger, bitterness, feeling of failure, anxiety, nervousness} WHATEVER vibration is coursing through you - use that as your try, try again. Don't associate "bad" feelings with your attempts because you'll just have "bad" outcomes.

As Josh Pais says, "you're a vibrator" ....just accept it and use it for your life's climax.